Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Technology, Texting, IBM

Thursday, 4 December 2008

image for IBM Announces New Text and Image Processing Technology
The Many Colors of P.E.N. Technology

Developed after months of customer design workshops, internal engineering and laboratory testing, IBM will be releasing the next generation of technology for word processing, graphics development, and text transmission.

Based on the combination of technologies already available in the marketplace, the new processing platform promises to be crash proof, impervious to battery drain, software crash or operating system shut down.

Chief Engineer, Nev R. Binleyd tells analysts, "It's really two unique technologies that when brought together, yield fantastic text, color, and graphics. Best of all, it will never crash during data entry, or fail when transmitting your message or document to its intended recipient!"

One analyst asked Binleyd if he could have possibly hoped for a better outcome, Binleyd replied, "Well, I would like to meet a girl someday, but otherwise the new product meets our expectations".

The first component to the technology is called the "Palm Expressionistic Narrator" while the second component is called the "Pliable Analytic Platform Entry Receiver". Together the applications of text, graphics and color are limited only by the imagination of user.

"We think the P.E.N. and P.A.P.E.R. technologies are really going to take off in the marketplace", says Binleyd. "It will be cheap, reliable, easy to transport or pass on to a friend or business associate and best of all if we ever get hit by an atomic-based electromagnetic pulse, it will be the only technology that survives."

Demonstrating the product, Binleyd held up a full sized 8.5 X 11 sheet of paper declaring, "Look, here's a picture of my mom, well sort of, if you squint and imagine flesh tone."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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