Written by Ben Macnair
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Thursday, 4 December 2008

image for Darth Vader blamed for fall of Woolworth's
Would they listen to my economic ideas? Would they hell?

It is understood that workers in Woolworths hold Sith Over-lord Darth Vader responsible for the current parlous state of the chain's finances.

Vader, who starred in an advert with the shop's mascots Woolie the Sheep and Worth the Dog selling a cheap toaster was said to be paid close to a million pounds worth of Pick and Mix sweets, and tinsel.

Woolworth's, which at Christmas is the biggest seller of Terry's Chocolate Oranges and tinsel is a stalwart of the High Street is said to be losing 30,000 workers from its 840 stores.

Vader told us: 'I am a big star you know. My lines are more famous than Shakespeare's, and yet I am seen as the bad guy. I tried to tell them that a million spent selling a £5 toaster did not make any economic sense, but would they listen to me? Would they?'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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