New Yawk, NY-- The major network executives are feeling the pinch of the credit crunch and are taking drastic measures to cut expenses. All three news anchors at CBS, NBC and ABC have been fired. There jobs have been outsourced to India, and the networks are already saving millions of dollars.
Katy Corick was fired from CBS. She used to earn over $30 million a year simply to read a teleprompter. The new anchor at CBS is Shavila Vishnucatchapastrami from New Delhi. Shavilla works for $5.00 an hour. She is very pleasant and smiles all the time--just like Katy--but a lot less expensive.
Bryan Williams was terminated at NBC. The new anchor is Swinda Whistlersmothershamala. Swinda will make $4.00 an hour but also gets a free Coke every other day. Bryan Williams used to make $4 million a year, along with six-months paid vacation.
Chuckie Gibson was walked out the door last night at ABC. The company is welcoming a newcomer, Mahara Shivapatelobladioblada. Mahara will get paid $5.60 an hour but also has to vacuum the floors in the studio.
Network executives say the idea may spread to the entertainment industry as well. Television viewers can look forward to big changes in their favorite shows next season. Viewers may wish to familiarize themselves with Indian names and culture in the coming months.