Written by queen mudder
Print this

Saturday, 29 November 2008

image for Saint Eligius Day Retribution for Off-the-Wall Street Alchemists
It spells disaster for Off-the-Wall St alchemists who tried to turn subprime base metals into gold

New York - (Merovingian Dy-Nasty Mess): Soothsayers at NY's Roosevelt Island Temple of Nemesis have issued a bitter-sweet warning about Monday's stunning Saint Eligius Day Saturn-trining Moon/Venus/Jupiter conjunction that falls at 22 degrees Capricorn.

A terse statement today predicts unprecedented catastrophe for those Off-the-Wall Street alchemists who have ruined western capitalism by trying to turn subprime base metals into gold.

Eligius, patron saint of goldsmiths and chief counsellor to Merovingian Dynasty founder King Dagobert I of France, predicted that the Goddess of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn would smash the Merovingian-fellating Opus Dei cabal that bankrupted humanity's soul.

The prophecy is particularly scornful of Albion's Puppet Monarchy which, it is claimed, will end in disaster under the December 1st 2008 triple astrological conjunction.

"You have been warned," a Temple source added mysteriously.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 1?

9 4 1 8
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more