New York, New York - Not taking the First Amendment of the Constitution lightly, Barack Obama announced today in a joint press conference and in a simultaneous podcast on YouTube with Vice President-elect Joe Biden his intentions to ban the book "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" as it is having a negative effect on the economy.
"It is with heavy heart that among my first actions in office will be to violate the First Amendment of the Constitution by placing an official ban on the book "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying". Now the ban will extend to all other media related materials pertaining to the book as well."
Obama went on for the next hour and a half to explain his reason for this unprecedented action not seen in a time of peace.
"Now I take this admittedly heavy handed action only because it has come to my attention that Wall Street and the banking industry in particular have been using the book "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" as their economic model and business plan for the past eight years," said Obama. "These practices will stop immediately or as soon as I take the oath office and I am your president, which shouldn't be to much longer now. In fact, it should be any minute now. Here, let me check my watch. No, it's still not time yet, but my watch could be a little slow. What does yours say, Biden? Oh, yours hasn't worked since Election Day. Really, why is that?"
Obama and Biden then left the press conference and YouTube podcast without taking any questions, placing an advance order for a couple of Lattés from a local Star Bucks using their Blackberries as they walked away.