The new version of Microsoft Windows, Windows 7, has escaped rather than waiting to be voluntarily released by the company.
The new Windows, which has been devised solely to part frustrated Windows users from their money, is actually just Vista with a new name. Well even "I'm a Celebrity" watchers know the difference between "Vista" and "Seven", even though both words have the same number of letters, which can be rather confusing for the average "I'm a Celebrity" Fan
A spokesman for the company confirmed that there is absolutely nothing at all different in the new version of Windows compared to Vista.
It is simply being release so that the 'must-have' lunatic fringe, who don't even own anoraks, can pay Microsoft huge sums of money for something that does exactly the same as the previous two hundred quid Vista, which in turn did the same as Windows XP, which itself was much the same as Windows 98, which was of course copied from Windows 95, which was a clone of Windows 3.1, which works the same way as Linux (but that's free).
The company spokesman went on to say that Windows 7 was being released because the company was jealous of people who are quite happy to part with large sums of money to update their mobile phones to include a whole host of ridiculous add-ons bearing no relation to the improvement or making of phone calls.
The new version of Windows is available from all popular file-sharing law breakers - just remember that your unlimited broadband may not be as unlimited as you think it is, because internet service providers don't want to be left out from rip-off Britain.