TheSpoof.com held its annual board of directors meeting Friday at a Central American retreat. Usually a half-hour affair betwixt heavy drinking binges, the meeting took over 12 hours due to infighting.
Mark Lowton, CEO, Chairman of the Board, and Big Cheese of TheSpoof.com, was caught by surprise when the normally quiet event took on a darker tone. Lowton had timed the meeting so the other two board members, Paul Lowton and Queen Mudder, would be passed out from excessive alcohol consumption. As the meeting began, spoof writers Jesus Budda and Monkey Woods stormed the room.
Budda, an excessively overweight 9 year-old girl prone to spasms, snatched the cocktail napkin agenda from Lowton's hands and demanded a public comment period. She bounced around the room screaming about her purported religion. Lowton attempted to retake the floor, but his tongue had fallen asleep.
After Budda ranted for 2 hours, Woods took over. A Japanese spirit taking the form of a box of donuts, Woods complained about the website's lack of accessibility for other spirits and, separately, demanded that the site remove all references to American political figures.
While Woods was going, Budda continued to shimmy around the room in a quasi-epileptic fit. Then the fateful moment came. Woods lurched to his left making a point about font sizes when Budda's body suddenly bounced to her right. Their two heads collided and they collapsed together, vomiting all over the exquisite tile floor.
Several hours passed with the group passed out in the conference room. Finally, Buckwheats Butt strolled into the room, fresh from a tropical enema. After defecating in the entryway, Butt woke Lowton to inquire about the situation. Lowton slammed the gavel down calling the meeting to an end, and headed for the bar.