At a glittering ceremony in a hall in Telford, the UK's most fascinating town, a company from Grimsby has scooped the British Industrial Award for a hearing aid set to revolutionise the NHS with its cheapness.
Acme Medical Products has developed a hearing aid that will cost users less than 90p for a lifetime of use. It doesn't require batteries, charging up or even a 45-mile length of electrical flex should the user want to travel from Manchester to Bradford while using it.
This new hearing aid will wipe millions and millions of pounds off NHS budgets nationwide and send the National Audit Commission into a state of pure rapture.
And the new hearing aid is simplicity itself. Developer of the hearing aid, Dr Seymour Klearly, said that supplies are available immediately, there are no waiting lists, and users don't even have to go to their GP or Chemist for a fitting.
Consisting of a laminated piece of A4 paper, with the words "PLEASE SPEAK UP" written on in bold, the new hearing aid is available from everywhere for only 87 pence.
This proves once again that the UK leads the world for innovation.