Written by Aspartame Boy
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Thursday, 16 October 2008

image for Bernake Pledges Aggressive Bubble Attack
BAT team leader, Ben Dover

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke pledged today - to prevent, and even attack bubbles everywhere. A new small, elite government agency, the Bubble Attack Team (BAT) went into operation this week.

Today, Bernanke granted this exclusive interview with this Federal team.

"Mr. Chairman, tell me about this new team. How will they operate?"

"Bubbles are bad for the economy, as we are beginning to find out. My maniacal study of the Great Depression failed to teach me this. We just found this out these past few days", quipped the Chairman as he sucked on his pipe.

"Note this. I'm not making bubbles with this bubble pipe! I'm just sucking on pure aspartame. In fact, I've got a team of BAT-men combing the nation just looking for any bubbles. They are armed with BAT-pricks, and they will prick any bubbles they find!", shouted the Chairman.. bubbles starting to foam at the corners of his mouth.

[As the bubbles foamed around the mouth of the Chairman, a team of five BAT-men rushed in and pricked them.]

Thanks guys, for that excellent demonstration. Remember, bubbles are bad! O.K., now guys, go find that Lawrence Welk bubble machine.. I want it destroyed! And water-board Lawrence Welk with aspartame laced water! He sucks!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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