Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 12 October 2008

image for California issues autographed holographic special collector's edition state bonds to cover budget shortfall
Will the special collector's edition work?

Sacramento, California - Hoping to generate cash for the state budget shortfall by generating celebrity autograph collector's interest because all the liquidity the state usually barrows from Wall Street to get by until the tax revenues come in June has all dried up, California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, agreed to personally autograph a special collector's edition of holographic state bonds.

It is hoped that by marketing the state bonds as a special "collector's edition" that the majority of people who would not otherwise purchase the bonds, fearful that they will lose their shirts, will do so merely to own a piece of the governor's Hollywood fame and not his bankrupt administration.

"I'm buying one," said Hank Martinez. "Just to remind myself why I voted for him in the first place. Wait. Oh yeah, I remember now. Because was the 'Terminator."

In addition to the autograph and holographic image of the state seal (on the back of each of the bonds), the governor has given permission to use his movie clich├ęs that he is famous for using over and over again.

"Of course, the governor has used them so much that they have all but lost their effectiveness," said a spokesman for the governor. "Once drawing laughter and applause when first employed by the then new governor, they now only draw nervous silence and dry coughs today. Still the state bonds would hardly be a special 'collector's edition' without them."

"They're embossed with real fake golden lettering too," said Martinez. "My favorite used to be, 'I'll Be Back', when he ran for his first real term. Then it was 'No Problemo' until there was one. Now it's, 'Hasta la Vista, Baby!' because I wish he would go away."

Another first about the new autographed holographic special collector's edition state bonds is that they will be bilingual as well, issued primarily in Spanish and Chinese (English available by request only. Additional charges may apply).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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