Written by Mister Meaner
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Thursday, 9 October 2008

image for Be Wary of Iceland, Investors Warned
What's for tea, Mum?

Financial markets weakened yet further this morning, amidst fears that the world's banks could be in a meltdown situation by the weekend, and experts have warned investors not to buy into Iceland.

The budget frozen foods giant has been particularly badly hit of late, with the lower end of the food chain switching to 'fags and beer' until the worst of the Credit Crunch passes.

Iceland is a firm favourite with those on benefits, the elderly, single-parent families, gypsies, criminals, refugees, illegal immigrants and, in general, those who don't give a shit about their health. It specialises in frozen pizza, burgers, pies, fish fingers, chips and ice-cream, all important foodstuffs in the 'delinquent diet' of the lower masses.

Even these cheap necessities have had to fall by the wayside, however, as the Credit Crunch bites hard, and those same masses have put their faith, instead, in their tried and trusted cigarettes and alcohol.

Chancellor Alistair, Darling told ministers today:

"Iceland is a cold place at the present time, and people should avoid investing in it.
Lidl should be fine though."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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