The UK government has today announced a £50billion investment plan to inject cash into UK financial institutions, offered a further £250billion in loan guarantees, and increased another lending scheme to £200billion.
Despite all of this, UK banks are in the shit.
So says expert TheSpoof.com financial analyst Robert Pist, who also advised investors to:
"Withdraw your savings immediately, if not sooner!"
The news of the banks' demise will come as no surprise to anyone who has been in one recently. Queues tell a story, and a long queue usually means trouble, particularly if most of the people in the queue are making a withdrawal, and these days, most of them are.
'Ginger' Sampson, analyst at Notional Eastminster (NOTEAST) Bank in London, said:
"Queues are very important in banking. A long queue of people with happy, smiling faces is a good sign, and a time to invest. A long queue of agitated queueists, however, who are grumbling amongst themselves, armed with withdrawal slips, is obviously a time to start thinking about moving your money elsewhere, such as into a mattress."
Prime Minister Gordon Brown moved swiftly to assure worried investors that their life savings were a priority for the government. He said:
"Get your money out, QUICK!"