Furniture factory and shop sized man trap, Ikea has launched a new product, set to take the western world by story.
The new Gilligan range of flat-pack furniture has as its centrepiece attraction an Occasional table that is always a chair.
Professor Dumbkopf from the University of Ikea said: 'This new furniture is a breakthrough for us. It will revolutionise how we see the world. OK, to you, it might look like a Chair. You can sit on it, fall asleep on it, take it to a desk, watch 8 hours of your life go buy in a job, and it is a chair, but this is not a chair, it is a table'.
We tried arguing with the Professor about the definitions, but he would have none of it. Professor Dumbkopf has not been seen for 3 weeks, and is thought to be lost somewhere within the Ikea Store.