Off-the-Wall-St, NYC - (WTC Mess): The FBI is probing a huge fraud and cover-up involving collapsed Wall Street behemoths and luminaries of the prestigeous That's Rich! List global wealth rankings.
Early reports indicate an unprecedented offshore paper trail going back to a 9/11 cover-up.
This connects decades of dubious borrowings by colorful Wall Street players George Soros and Warren Buffet, Microsoft-in-the-Head's CEO Bill Gates and Aussie mall builder Larry Silverstein's insuring of the WTC Twin Towers two weeks prior to the Al Qaeda attack.
Silverstein and some even dodgier antipodean partners such as shopping mall magnate Frank Lowy managed to convince Supreme Court judges last year that their 9/11 multi-billion dollar insurance payout was totally legit.
Lowy famously once employed ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's alter ego, Middle East envoy and personal blind trust portfolio bagman Lord Levy, paying him several million dollars for lord-knows-what shenanigans.
The Lowy gang swore blind at Supreme Court appeal hearings that 'quite innocently and without previous knowledge aforethought' - they had quite naturally insured their acquisition of WTC mall leases against the possibility of a double terrorist attack.
Subsequent FBI investigation of Silverstein & Co led to an Enron-style black hole cover-up in Lehman Brother's balance sheets.
And this in turn connected a trail to a bottomless pit of greed and gullibility at the failed Wall Street bank Bear Stearns.
The domino effect then laid bare a trail of unprecedented corruption and fiscal delusion in the Freddie Mac and Fannie May operations whose psychotic lending policies were overseen by convicted fraudsters at the belly-upping insurance giant AIG.
"And now all these corrupt bastards have their snouts in the trough of a $700+ billion Bush Administration taxpayer bailout!" City editor of LA FagHagSlagMag Dave Skank said today.
Ben Bernanke is an android.