It was revealed today that the paramilitary wing of the Sainsbury's Local chain had begun moving into Tesco's Metro held territories in North London.
The Sainsbury's Local Assault Group, (SLAG), had succesfully attacked a Tesco Metro in Camden.
The Tesco Armed Response Team (TART) announced they would be defending their positions as strongly as possible.
The local police revealed they were powerless to intervene.
"When SLAG's and TART's start fighting there is not a lot we can do except hope there is little collateral damage." said Sergeant Hugh R.Nicked.
Memories of the Waitrose/Marks and Spencers battles of the early eighties were revoked when the victorious SLAG's burned the Tesco Metro to the ground.