News from a leading supermarket is that their brand new range of Strawberry Ketchup has been the slowest seller of all of the stores ranges. It is even slower than sales of Apple and Anchovie pie, which tests had proved would have been a big seller with better marketing.
Annie Oakley, from the supermarket's Marketing Department told us: 'It is quite a surprise, as we felt that this product, above all of the best should have been our biggest selling. We tried it out with Chips, with Bread, with everything that people associate with Tomato ketchup, and still no-one went for it. We had our best chefs, and our best minds working on it. Our range of Lemon Chutney sells really well, but clearly, there really is no market for Ketchup of any flavour other than Tomato'
Gordon Ramsey said: 'It is just F****** stupid. It really is. What are you doing you stupid little S****'
Jamie Oliver commented: 'Pucka. Lovely. Look at that. You can't beat a bit of that, can you? Bish, bash, bosh, and away you go'
Whilst Nigella Lawson said: 'Euuuu…… That sounds disgusting. I won't be putting that in any of my recipes'