Written by Charlie Van Horn

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Topics: Iowa, rich

Friday, 28 May 2004

image for Iowa Man to Get Cash Windfall From Nigeria
Call him 'Mr. Moneybags'

(WATERLOO, Iowa)--A Waterloo area farmer hit it rich in a financial transaction involving a Nigerian. Thirty-four year old farmer Mike Palmer stands to acquire nearly $350,000 tax free from the family of a fleeing Zimbabwei general.

"I was just writing a letter on my hotmail account to my cousin in Redding when I get this e-mail saying that this guy needs to trust me" Palmer said Thursday at Farmers State Bank of Iowa, where he was awaiting to see if the money had arrived via electronic transfer.

The e-mail Palmer received was from Nigerian citizen Mkee Elebo, who is the son of Zimbabwei warlord, Kolo Elebo. In it, he describes the situation he is facing in his country.

"It is of most important urgency that I contact you in this manner, for you see the normal channels for me to conduct business have been unavailable" it reads.

Mr. Palmer's banker, Stacey Owens, says that the electronic transfer is the most secure way to move such large amounts of money.

"We have folks come in here all the time who want to use EFT to send money to relations in Florida and such." Owens said as she was checking on Mr. Palmer's transaction.

"I'm sorry Mr. Palmer, the good faith money you sent on the 26th did arrive in Nigeria and was accepted, however, the amount you were expecting hasn't arrived yet. You should probably come back on Tuesday after the long weekend, I'm sure it will be in then"

Mike Palmer put down only $5,000 in good faith money.

"True, I got a little boy who needs his asthma medication, and I was counting on that nest egg to pull us through till fall, but I really can't take $350,000 away from my wife and my boy, they'd never forgive me"

Last year Mike Palmer was in the news for having his driveway resurfaced by Irish Travellers, giving his credit card number out to someone claiming to be from EBay, and this past holiday season for having his Christmas Tree stolen by a creature who claimed a light was out on one side and was going to repair it.

He does have some good advice though for those who don't believe in good luck.

"You can check my email account" Mike says "My name is Gopherkilla3@hotmail.com, and my password is Kentuckyfried69"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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