Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 8 September 2008

image for Stockmarket Freezes And Crashes After New B&B News
Buy! Sell! Put the plug back in!

There was more chaos in the Financial Sector this morning, when, amidst chaotic scenes after the startling news of the Bradley & Bingley takeover of Feddie Mac & Fannie Mae, the lights went out at the London Stock Exchange!

The news of the massive takeover, reported to be worth $70trillion, broke at 9:03am, and, as investors struggled to digest it, systems started to malfunction, and screens froze at 9:07am.

They have not come back up again since.

Bidding was suspended, and there was silence for the first time since the present Exchange was opened by HRH the Queen in 1972.

It's thought the freeze may have been caused by Mary the cleaner when she accidentally pulled the plug out with her hoover.

When trading closed at 9:07, the FT100 Index was down 631 points to 5440.20, whatever that means.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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