Folders are now on strike. The useful stationary items no longer move properly, and will now be known as straights. This comes as a bitter blow to the stationary industry, as the Back to School Campaigns in many high street shops are now in full swing.
Folders, with support from the union OFWAT (Of Folders, Wallets, and That) will strike between now and next Monday, with many folders refusing to work even now. This adds to the woes of Woolworths, who are already suffering from an absence of Pick and Mix sweets who are striking until gloves are available at all dispensers.
A particularly distraught Jelly Baby said: 'We get all of these kids coming in here with their grubby mitts and hands, feeling us and prodding us, and then they decide they only like the green ones. We taste the same, but no, only the green ones go. I am blue, but I just get left behind every-time, it is so demoralising, it really is.'