Dallas, Texas - (Snake Oil Mess): Big oil executives and their crude supply source owners were in stitches last night as Sen Barack Obama promised to end US dependency on foreign oil.
"It's like tellin' the country's 10 million heroin addicts that the time has come to grow their own poppy!" a former Halliburton CEO chuckled today.
At Chevron HQ in San Ramon's Bollinger Boulevard Canyon - where the champagne corks are always a-poppin' - bemused crude experts were equally baffled:
"Obama's stated opposition to offshore drilling has sounded the deathknell for serious home production expansion," board dirctor General Jones commented.
"Where the hell he gonna get that extra crude?"
Meanwhile at the business desk of Californian celeb newspaper LA FagHagSlagMag city editor Dave Skank said today:
"The only dependency Obama can cut is the USA's import of foreign snake oil, and that's because he's the country's very own top peddler."