Written by Tom Power
Print this

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

image for Powerful bastard possibly involved in potential misdemeanour
Has this powerful bastard done something untoward? Who can say?

The financial world awoke to reports that an unnamed individual in an undisclosed executive position at an unspecified corporation may have been involved in corrupt, immoral or unscrupulous dealings of some sort. Although details remain patchy, the sudden revelations threaten to cause a stir among the business elite.

"When somebody who holds a position of some authority within a company of some kind is involved in some manner of professional misconduct, it creates the potential for damaging repercussions on domestic or international stock markets," said a broker who wished to remain anonymous. "That said, it could just as easily have no effect whatsoever. It's just incredibly difficult to predict."

Financial insiders confirmed the purported incident was "almost certainly related to business". "Insider trading cannot be ruled out," mused one clandestine commentator, "nor can it be ruled in". Shareholders did not react to the alleged event in any uniform manner, though analysts have tentatively suggested that stocks may have traded on one or more stock exchanges over the last 24 hours.

The situation was best summarised by another private pundit: "A powerful bastard was possibly involved in some incident which may or may not constitute a misdemeanour, and which could, but might not, impact particular financial markets in a potentially negative way. Alternatively, nothing happened."

Henry Henry, 2008.

Make Tom Power's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

9 15 10 19
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more