Upper Lower Higgensfield- Shocking news has just come filtering into the office today that an entire high street has been found dead.
The high street of Upper Lower Higgensfield was described by the investigating officer DI Chaplin as a 'happy go lucky, nice to be around' place who 'meant a great deal to the family'.
Officers are not quite sure exactly how the high street ended up dead and it looks like the whole place was swept clean early in the morning leaving no trace of rubbish or fingerprints.
Chaplin refused to give any definate evidence on this terrible crime but said that the Met was looking into similar cases where several high streets were murdered by the Internet and Out-of-Town shopping centres.
"Well," said one local resident with a different view, "With all the knife crime these days... kids roaming around the street... it's case closed ain't it? The High Street got stabbed."
Has never been given a death threat... yet.