There was chaos in the financial markets today, when the price of one of the world's most popular commodities - Baked Beans - hit a 60-year high, which was brilliant news for investors.
Beans, made from haricot beans, are the staple diet of all 60 million people in Britain, and are routinely eaten with egg and chips, at least six out of seven days per week. On Sundays, toast is often added to the meal.
The current surge in the price of beans will spell the end of cheap meals in the UK, and will, no doubt, result in the deaths of thousands of pensioners and people on a low income.
The London Stock Exchange reported a 90% increase on yesterday's price of £10 per barrel, to today's record high of a whopping £19 per barrel.
A barrel of beans is the internationally-recognised measurement for 'how many you can eat after a night on the piss'.