Written by Morse
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Thursday, 24 July 2008

image for FEMA Sells Tainted Trailers to Massachusetts and Vermont!

Boston,Ma./ Wall Street Journal - FEMA announced today that it was selling 2500 mobile home trailers , only a fraction of their hurricane disaster stock, to the liberal Democratic states of Massachusetts and Vermont.

FEMA has been seeking immunity from claims that during hurricane relief efforts for Katrina and Rita, displaced residents were housed in the trailers which tested more than 5 times the normal rate for formaldehyde.

During the height of disaster relief efforts FEMA purchased over 145,000 of the trailers for around $19,000 each, a total of $2.5 billion. Three years after the hurricanes thousands still live in the trailers, over 60,000 are in storage, and no one can account for how many trailers were not distributed.

Led by Presidential hopeful Barack Obama and Senator Barney Frank,(D,Ma.) ranking member of the Senate Banking Committee, Congress has approved federal grants to both states to pay for the trailers.

As previously reported in The Spoof, with the closing of GITMO, more than 270 militant muslims are being repatriated to these two northeastern states in hopes of rehabilitation, along with the hundreds of pedophiles the states are already trying to rehabilitate, and temporary housing is desperately needed.

A recent study performed by John Hopkins University has indicated that the exposure to a formaldehyde laden environment for at least 48 hours reduces aggression and lowers sex drive. Most of the trailers have a warning label posted in the bathrooms as follows: "Should you have an erection lasting less than 35 seconds, exit the building immediately and notify FEMA".

Senator Hillary Clinton is also in line to buy one of the trailers and plans to donate it to her husband's Arkansas Presidential library.

"The library is only a single wide now," she said, "and Bill really needs a place to work as he spends hours going over the donations and writing thank you notes to all his supporters, plus his interns need need to know they won't be hit on."

With the closing of "The Big Dig" and the resulting traffic chaos reported in "The Spoof", additional trailers will be allocated along Massachusetts I-90 to provide temporary shelter until motorists can figure out how to get home.The reduction of aggression in those drivers will also be considered as an unexpected, but welcome, side effect.

FEMA refused to say how much they got for the trailers, but did say their annual budget is now showing a surplus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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