Sewer covers are going like hot cakes while US real estate sits idly by waiting for the next imaginary bubble. The metal market in the once thriving US of A is about the only thing that is selling. Junkies and former bond traders are stripping America's cities bare of wrought iron, copper and any metal from dental fillings to pawn shop filings.
Sewer covers weighing in at about 300 lbs are being ripped off of every city pipeline. Scavengers wheel everything down the boulevard from supermarket shopping carts to old super's dollies.
As special details of cops watch out for the dirty copper thieves, clever crooks ship their metallic mendacities down the Harlem River on the Circle Line. One Tour boat mate told the spoof that he had never seen such obese Europeans in all his years on the Circle line: "I just thought it was the result of the prosperous Euro as Bush's dollar went down the drain!?"