Springfield PA-- The latest diet craze, diet ice cubes, is a big seller at the Poke N Toke Grocery Store in Springfield. The tiny ice cubes cost $10.00 for a dozen and the store sells thousands a day. The ice cubes have zero calories and no cholesterol. They are the brain child of the store's manager, Mr. Fish.
The diet ice cubes are "homemade, right in back of the store" according to Mr. Fish. "We have them displayed in the snack aisle, right next to the diet sodas, you can't miss them." said the evil store manager.
Ericka McMuffin is a customer and fan of the diet ice cubes. "I weigh 900 pounds but I'm trying to lose some." said the pint-sized butterball. Her shopping cart was filled with junk food and diet ice cubes. "I also like the fact the ice cubes are low in cholesterol since I have heart failure. I hope to be either dead or in a bikini by the end of July." Ms. McMuffin toked on a her joint and went looking for something to eat.
Mr. Fish hopes to make millions of dollars with his new product. "I'm thinking of selling diet water for $10.00 a pint. There certainly is no shortage of suckers out there to sell these diet products to." said the greedy bastard.