Written by Clete Plow
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Thursday, 20 May 2004

The first Mama Condoleezza's NewOrleenza Rice and Beans Bistro and Voodoo Lounge is scheduled to open later this summer in Orlando, Florida. "Many people are surprised to learn that I am actually a human being and not only eat solid food but am a regular kitchen magician too!", declared the oddly named National Security Advisor.

The restaurants will all be designed to look like a Bayou Fishing Shack on the outside and the Harvard Club on the inside. Featured dishes will include "Huey Louie Andouille Sausage and Spice and Everything Nice Jambalaya", " Way Down Yonder in the Land O' Cottonmouth Snake Fritters", "John Ashcroft's Southern Fried Nonsense", "Dick Cheney's Heart Attack on a Plate" and "Barbara Bush's Baked Beans and Broccoli with Beef and Bosco" that little "W" always loved as a kid.

The overstuffed sandwiches include the "Big Fat Liar", the "Pulled Pork Barrel Special" and the "Massive Tax Cut". "Everyone wants that sandwich," commented Restaurant Manager Dan Quayle,"But we're under strict orders only to give it to about 3% of our customers."

Condee laughed, then sneered, "Even though we are doing the Cajun theme there's no "Po Boys" around here!".

Over in the Voodoo Lounge bartenders will conjure up "Rummy and Cokes" and there will be several Jenna Bush look-alike "Shooter Girls" serving up a full menu of specialty shots including the "Megaton Blast", "Shock and Awe" and the "Wacky Iraqi WMD" - which after you spend a stunning sum to get one, turns out to be an empty glass.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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