Written by ScottThe Dot
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Topics: Starbucks, Coffee

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

image for Starbucks to close 600 stores to leave space for milk
SCAB!

Starbucks, the Seattle based coffee house chain has announced it will close 600 stores and axe 12,000 staff in an effort to leave more room for milk.

400 of the 600 stores are in the same street in Peanut, Virginia, leaving the town with only 75 coffee shops to serve its population of 43.

Barista Joe Wachowski, 29, said 'I kinda don't mind so much, I can get round to that screenplay I have been working on, maybe hang out with my buddies. Get blazed. I don't mind. '

After the 600 stores close, Starbucks will be left with only 10 billion retail outlets across the world.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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