The Sultan of Brunei, for years the world's richest man, is no longer 'loaded', but has fallen on hard times, and now "hasn't got a penny to scratch his arse with", it has been claimed.
Brunei, 61, was quoted as being at the top of the 1997 Forbes List of the world's 100 wealthiest people, but, after a spate of bad luck and poor investments, he has now fallen to number 16, and a real panic has set in at the 41 Royal Palaces.
Back in 1997 the Sultan was credited with being worth $5.563billion, but things have got so tight that in February, he actually sold one of his wives and four jewel-encrusted gold crowns in a bid to 'tighten his belt'.
People in the country's capital, Brunei Darussalam, have felt the effects of the Sultan's ill-fortune. Families with more than two cars, have had one of them confiscated, and taxes have been raised by 0.4% over the last three years alone.
Many Bruneisians with businesses have gone to the wall - a special, magic wall in the heart of the city, where imams pray for money and wealth in direct contravention of The Quoran.
A spokesman for the Sultan said:
"Bloody hell and blimey! His Excellency feeling the pinch. Downturn in Global economy. Oh, deary, deary me!"