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Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Senior executives from the definately not in trouble and 100% solvent Bradford and Bingley were spotted earlier today beating a path to leafy Watford. This tranquil Hertfordshire town which was once owned by Sir Elton John is also the home to the biggest firm of merchant bankers in the football industry Watford FC.

Watford football club who ply their trade from a small compact ageing stadium on Vicarage road are known to be one of the world's richest football clubs. Their super wealth is due to the astute practice's of the Watford FC board of directors. Watford FC have for a couple of years now been, trading in, footballers at top of the market prices, for pallets of cash and have steadfastly refused to spend any of it. Especially on footballers.

Financial experts from St Anita satellite channel Battenberg have had their credit rating at AAA+ for a while and analysts their are convinced that they have considerably more money than Kuwait.

They are thought to easily be in a position to bail out or even buy the Bradford & Bingley should they wish to. Money lending would be a new direction for the Hornets whose business activities are more usually wheel-barrowing holdalls of cash from TV revenue into safety deposit boxes.

A treasury spokesman thought it unlikely there would be government intervention as the Bradford & Bingley made the first approach to Watford. The British government do not usually involve themselves in this kind of commercial activity and stated that if a bank or building society wished to or indeed needed to borrow money from a football club, that was up to them.

The old lady of threadneedle street was also remaining neutral, there may well be a NATIONWIDE credit problem and the bank of England themselves, have been desperately trying to print their way out of it, but as fast as they can print money, even they have struggled to keep up with Watford who just keep selling more footballers.

Nobody from the Watford Fc board was available for comment when telephoned but the girl who answered the call did enquire if I'd like to buy A McNuff, also when asked, she stated neither herself,nor anybody else at the club for that matter, saw relegation as a problem.

"Most of the fans here are numpties and there are not many of them to go worrying about and anyway, why would you? It's about selling players these days, the premier league is just a big shop that you get paid for going into and they give you more money on the way out as well, banks are in the wrong game, no wonder they are always borrowing money"

It was unclear if Mr Bradford or Mr Bingley managed to borrow any money but they are still today, rather amazingly, claiming to be solvent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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