Written by AnubisTheJackle
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Topics: Cows

Sunday, 8 June 2008

image for Profitable New Businesses Breaking In U.S.
Cow

In the United States there are many profitable new businesses emerging in rural areas. But, due to lack of intelligence, and lack of the state actually being a decent place to work, Central Maine holds some of the strangest forms of organized crime, none more so then the cow prostitution rings.

Pimping of cows has been a minor issue for many years now, but never so bad as currently. With 1,000 confirmed cases of Cow-Cunt activity. Our anonymous informants explain that people are pimping their cows during the seasons when back-hair-hats are out of style. I'm not sure I would enjoy either of those activities, but I do hear good things about the hardened-vomit-sculpture festivals.

In Illinois there has been a spreading sex-shop-penetration spree, hundreds of adult sex shops have been penetrated and brutally raped with large phallus'. We have yet to really get in deep into this investigation, but we're pushing hard and trying to get to the sweet parts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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