Written by matwil
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Thursday, 5 June 2008

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Only £98 a night

A bed and breakfast in Scarborough has seen its profits fall drastically, despite B&B's being traditionally seen as licenses to print money.

The manager of the establishment, Bradford Bingley, said: 'Well, you know, er, well, there was lots of frying going on, our lecky bills were way up. And, um, yes, we had a cold snap for 2 days, that cut profits severely, honest.'

But the Inland Revenue is questioning these claims, and even suggesting that it is impossible for bed and breakfasts' profits to fall, and that there may even be a fraud behind this.

Mrs. Bingley, taking a pause from counting her £50 notes, said: 'Well, it's a worldwide slump in hotels and B&B's, my accountant Robert Maxwell was telling me this last week - and telling me to tell you that.'

Bed and breakfasts have never seen profits fall since laws were introduced to protect owners and guests alike in the 1940s, so this news has surprised city analysts. One business writer, James McScrooge, said: 'What next, supermarkets stopping ripping customers off? Labour reducing taxes? Do my a favour, it's laughable.'

But Mr. Bingley had the final word on the subject :'It's only £98 a night for a double room, breakfast not included. I'm off to rob a bank or open a building society, same difference!' Rigsby was seen peeping through Miss Jones's keyhole.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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