Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 2 June 2008

image for Bradford And Bingley Crisis: Latest
Scottish Widows next?

A new crisis unfolded in the financial sector today, when executives at the Bradford & Bingley Building Society called in police to investigate the whereabouts of its two owners, Mr Bradford and Mr Bingley.

Mr Bradford and Mr Bingley, who have no first names, have not been seen for more than eight years since starring in a TV advertisement in 1999. Police say they are "worried" about the pair.

The missing men are reported as being "well-to-do" city gents who were well-spoken and polite. They were only ever seen in silhouette, and were last reported wearing black suits and bowler hats. Both had walking sticks.

A man answering their description was arrested this morning but released after it was discovered he was 'Fred', the man from the Homepride advert.

Speaking after his release from Spalding Police Station in Lincolnshire, Fred said:

"Graded grains make finer flour, but don't ask me about mortgages. Like those gentlemen at Bradford & Bingley, I haven't got a clue."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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