Following calls for yet more educational reforms, Prime Ministerial whipping boy Gordon Brown has launched a raft of new degrees, aimed at getting people back to learning.
Launched at the newly opened University of Hard Knocks, (formerly No.11 Downing Street) the degrees cost upwards of a Million each and lead not just to the qualification at the end, but also to a knighthood.
The degree subjects include: Waiting for a Bus; practical applications of Sod's Law, Watching the Paint Dry, Watching the Grass Grow, Wearing down Shoes, and the favourite, Termite Midwifery.
Gordon Brown said: 'This will be a great opportunity for many people to get back to school, and to get back to learning. Obviously, I am not sure what practical application many of these courses will have. I am reliably informed, though, that the courses in Watching Paint Dry, and Watching Grass Grow will prepare students for the mind numbing tedium of office life, and being expected to be excited when there is photo-copying to be done, envelopes to be stuffed and tea to be made'.