Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Iraq War Mess): Big oil giant Chevron has blamed the Bush Administration's Iraq war policy for runaway crude prices, a rock-bottom weak dollar and the spiralling cost of pizza dough.
"We're just tryin' to make an honest buck outwittin' the Saudis, the Iranians and all their OPEC pals," a San Ramon source said today.
"But we're up against a karma-like force, pointing the finger at Mammon-incarnate."
The comments were seconded by one of Occidental's largest and most secretive stockholders who said nobody but the Bushes could create this kind of mess on such a vast scale.
"It's unprecedented chaos, stemming from a twisted and delusional interpretation of macroeconomics," Oxy's Prof V Smart told reporters.
"Letting them born-again crack-heads, dry drunks and other toxic wannabes get their snouts in the hydrocarbons trough was the TheoCons' big idea.
"It's gonna take more than a miracle for their Lord to bail 'em out this time."
Dick Cheney is incandescent with rage.