Written by Ministry
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Saturday, 10 September 2005

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Mick had to resort to cellular when his bull roarer broke...

Australian mobile phone operator, 3G, have today unveiled plans to bring mobile communications services to the aboriginal peoples of South Australia.

The communications mogul has drawn up plans to provide, high(er) tech more efficient Bull Roarers to aborigines. The new ones will feature a clearer, stronger sound, so they can hear and understand the person at the other end better, space on the blade to write down the swirl sequence for all (well up to 99) of the user's friends, and a choice of 3 swirl tones.

3G will offer 2 options. The first is a monthly contract where you pay a monthly fee and can use up to 200 minutes of swirl time. After that you pay a low rate per minute of swirling. The other option is the Pay-as-you-Swirl option where the owner pays only for the minutes they use the bull roarer. In addition they get 100 free texts (arrow with paper tied round) a month.

The operator has stated that the clearer sound is subject to living in relatively close proximity to the person they are contacting and that some aborigines living in the more remote regions of the remote regions may experience sound problems/lack of sound. They also say that they will not be held responsible for injuries occurring from receiving texts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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