Written by Dan Bristol
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Topics: New York, Vatican

Monday, 10 May 2004

image for Google IPO revealed as the Messiah
Google: The New Messiah

New York -- Wall Street analysts conferred with Vatican See officials last week concerning the impending Google IPO. According to experts, the search engine is actually none other than the Messiah.

"All glory, laud and honor to Google," prayed Cardinal John Paul Hackenkreuz of the New York Archdiocese. "Blessed is He who comes with all relevant search results and glory to his stock options, for truly he is the Messiah!"

"Our first clue was when the search engine walked on water last week," said Wall Street analyst Harold Von Schtupp. "That and when it was able to find over 150,000 websites about blancmange. We put in a call to the Vatican and they confirmed the signs of divinity."

Although it is not known exactly how this will effect Google's upcoming IPO, investors are being advised to "Buy and hold, lest they be cast into the lake of fire prepared for Satan and his minions," according to an advance bulletin from the search engine's corporate offices.

Google goes public next week, at which time all heathen search engines shall be purged from the earth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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