Written by Pointer
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Topics: corpse

Saturday, 10 May 2008

image for The Missing Schiller Stiff is Good for Weimar Business
Grave Robbers Find New Jobs as Sausage Meat Suppliers

For two hundred years, literature lovers, German majors, archaeologists and grave robbers have been searching for the true dead body of Friedrich Schiller.

The great German Romantic poet's body has escaped discovery despite the exhumation of thousands of the wrong corpses.

These stiffs fortunately have given rise to a cottage industry in Weimar. Since local law forbids the reburial of non- Schiller corpses, the butcher, baker and candlestick maker archaeological disappointments have been turned into culinary delights. The secret to good Vienna sausage turns out to be non-Schiller coarse ground meat on the far end of the grave robbers shovel.

Weimar food critic Eadem Wile Der Ded recently wrote eloquently about a certain brand of Vienna sausage that was pure coal miner: "The smoky essence and the blackened flesh gave the sausage a wonderful hunter's ambiance."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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