California - (Hydrocarbons Mess): A reclusive Southern California bigoil pair have been dubbed the ultimate ECO- warriors after Off-the-Wall-Street sources revealed the couple's crude holdings.
"Our research shows that Mr & Mrs Bigoil own 20% of Exxon-Mobil, 25% of Chevron Texaco and just over 32% of Occidental," a Goldman Sax analyst said today.
The Jungian shrink says he had to prise the information slowly out of the couple whose canny low public profile includes working as a janitor in Los Angeles Airport and as a cleaner in the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
"Between them they have amassed over 80% of the world's crude stockpiles," Dr V Smart said today.
"Now they're threatening to blow the whole lot and build a massive land-reclamation island on the Pacific ocean where the island of Lemuria, predecessor to Atlantis, once stood."
An emergency session of the UN Security Council is to debate the report.