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Monday, 14 April 2008

image for Fed Researcher Discovers Substance More Plentiful Than Sand
Deravitive Pennies More Numerous Than Sand

A research assistant at the Federal Reserve Board, Stanley Mouch, in Washington DC last night discovered a substance which be believes is more numerous than all the grains of sand on the entire plant earth.

While evaluating the amount of credit derivates which currently exist, which is $450 trillion, he noticed that if you break this down into pennies that this amounts to 4,500,000,000,000,000 pennies or more compactly 4.5 quadrillion pennies.

He speculated that this number exceeds all the grains of sand on every beach on the entire planet. This worried him greatly as you know what happens when you go to the beach. That damn sand gets into every crack, cranny and crevice of your body.

This worried him so much, that this may also apply to all financial institutions, that he had Ben Bernanke paiged to tell him. Ben was having lunch in the cafeteria at the time and Stanley wanted to immediately inform him of this awful possibility.

Unfortunately, Ben Bernanke had been called away because of a serious emergency. It seems that his helicopter had just crashed with all aboard having been killed. He had just dispatched it and it seems that it was overloaded with $100 bills which were to be dropped on Wall Street to help calm his friends there.

Ben was last seen mixing up a rather large batch of grape Kool-Aid which has always been his plan to use as a last resort.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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