Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Nobel Prize, balls

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

image for Man Who Told Boss To F**k Off, Given Nobel Prize
Barry is normally so quiet and reserved, but he lost it big-time with his boss

A man who humiliated his employer in a public place by telling him to "f**K off" and "go suck your granpa's c**k, motherf*cker" has been awarded the prestigious Nobel Prize in Balls at a glitzy ceremony in Norway.

Barry Belknapp, 30, told his boss Mr. Richard Smitherlee, 41, of 'Teddys Tools' in downtown Chicago, to "go screw yourself, d*ckhead" after being given his roster of work for that particular day.

"We awarded this man's bravery and dignity for sticking it to 'the Man' and the corrupt system, yeah", said Nobel jury member Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols, "f*ck the system".

Barry, who is normally pretty laid back and reserved, totally lost it when his boss innocently asked him to restock the aisles with welding equipment. It appears Barry was in a mood because his long-term girlfriend, Linda, dumped him for a used-car salesman.

A spokesman for Teddy's Tools has said that he fears that discipline will be difficult to enforce from now on.

"After the whole Barry-thing, we've had a dramatic rise in the number of instances of lateness, tardiness, back answering, and deliberate clogging of toilets with dead squirrels", said the spokesman, "I'm not sure how much longer we can control the anarchy. Society is breaking down. We may need an extra influx of pointless junior managers to deal with this crisis".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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