Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: Airlines, bankruptcy

Saturday, 12 April 2008

image for Airplane makes emergency landing after CEO files for bankruptcy in mid-flight
Airline industry needs to make an emergency landing of its own

Washington, DC - Another airline just went belly up but not before one of its airplanes bound for LAX was informed in mid-flight by its CEO that he had to file for bankruptcy so they had better land the plane as soon as possible because none of the pilots or crew were on the clock anymore. Worst yet, they would be held financially responsible for any further expense, especially the cost of the jet fuel, if they proceeded with the flight to its final destination.

"Our CEO said he would personally dock our checks," said the pilot, who made the final decision to make the emergency landing. "We all got together in the cockpit and pulled out our last pay check stubs to see of we could afford to continue with the flight, but we just didn't have enough."

The captain then went onto the planes public address system to inform the passengers on board of the situation and to ask them for donations to keep the plane in the air.

"I could believe what I was hearing," said one of many angry passengers as a couple of stewardesses walked down each aisle, passing a basket duck tapped to pole through each row, collecting the passengers money, wrist watches and rings. "The captain asking us for money just to get us back to L.A.? I mean didn't the airline industry get a government bailout the last time? Now they're asking their pilots and crew to divvy up for the ride literarily out of their salaries, again?"

Unfortunately, even with their money and what was collected for m the passengers, the captain and flight crew still did not have enough money to keep the plane flying.

Markus Gonzales, a passenger who disembarked the ill-fated plane, now stranded on a tarmac somewhere in central Arizona, said that he, along with all the other passengers had no money left to give. Not after the two other previous airlines folded up on them: one while they were still in the terminal waiting to board and the other after they got through the gate while they were boarding, standing line with tickets still in their hands.

"We all gave what we had," said Gonzales. "But all of us already exhausted all our traveling money, went over the limit on our credit cards, ate right trough our savings and pawed most of our jewelry paying for this flight to nowhere. Not to mention what we spent on renting cheep motels and eating overpriced airport fast-food waiting just to book it."

No word from the federal government on what it plans to do to help the stranded passengers, or the failing airline industry this time, but the FAA announced they would be recovering the Black Box even though the plane landed safely.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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