Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Monday, 7 April 2008

image for Absolut Vodka Ad showing map of Southwest and Pacific Coast owned by Mexico offends Americans - Ad agency says, "But it's based on actual U.S. census data."
Absolut Vodka Ad exploiting American concerns over illegal immigration and border security, or do drunks tell the truth.

Los Angeles, California - An ad for Absolut Vodka meant to run only in Mexico, showing much of the American southwest and Pacific Coast owned by Mexico, has managed to get into U.S. newspapers, offending Americans concerned about the illegal immigration and the security of their boarders.

Topographers point out that the map is similar to one drawn up before the Mexican-American War of 1846-48 but clearly, it is not the same one. However, the ad agency defends the accuracy of the map, saying that its based on actual U.S. census data.

"We did our research," said the ad agency that came up controversial ad. "And we based our map on U.S. data census that currently reflects the vast illegal Mexican population in the southwest today."

"Taking into account the illegal Mexican population already here, the Absolut Vodka ad is accurate," said Alfred Smith-Gomez, a Political Scientist the Cassandra School of Foresight. "The re-conquest of the American southwest by Mexico has already happen and without a single shot being fired, too, virtually speaking of course. That hasn't happen since Gandhi retook India from the British Parliament in 1947."

Absolut Vodka maintains that was it was not its intention to offend Americans by playing into their fears of illegal Mexicans, or their frustration with their non-responsive politicians. Only to propose to Americans, who are often divided on this issue, an alternative way of dealing with it: drowning out their sorrows with their booze.

"Think of it this way," said a spokesman for Absolut Vodka. "Now you don't have to go to Cancun, Mexico on your vacation because it has come to you. Besides, you don't have to go through the trouble of having to rename the cities or streets."

Absolut Vodka says the expected increase in the population of open-air unlicensed fresh fruit venders positioned at every freeway off ramp and corner block, insistently ringing their bells to let you know their there, is expected to explode in the coming months.

"Now you can have fresh fruit with your drink," said a spokesman for Absolut Vodka. "We recommend you try Papaya. Its fresh fruity fragrant scent complements the smooth rich taste of our vodka, as you pleasantly get bombed out of your mind. Helping you to resign yourself to the fact that America's borders exist on paper only."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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