Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Breasts, Bra, Badgers

Monday, 7 April 2008

image for Badger-Skin Bra Business Goes Bust
Women will no longer be able to feel badger hair against their heaving bosoms - Just like this unfortunate woman.

A company specializing in 'natural brassiere manufacturing' has gone out of business after protests by a vigilante animal rights group.

'Bradgers LLC' was the number one producer of badger-based bras in the entire country. Actually they were the only badger-based bra makers in the entire country.

CEO Jack Orff was pessimistic at his companies' future chances to regain a market share of the lucrative underwear industry.

"I started the company out of my mothers garage", he solemnly said, "in fact we never moved out of the garage. I used up my pocket money on a stupid publicity campaign using Barbara Walters. Stupid f****ing idea. Sorry about the language, mother."

That same advertising campaign drew attention from Jesus Budda, leader of the Badgers Are Lovely Society (B.A.L.L.S for short).

"The whole operation was sick, man", said Budda today from a tree, "the badgers are our pals, guy. We should treat them with fricken respect - not like some sort of freak-show clothing spectacle".

B.A.L.L.S picketed the company's HQ and eventually the business collapsed under the pressure.

"Mother kicked me out", said a now homeless Jack, "and she gave the bras to that loony group to set 'free' in the forest".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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