In a shocking move Ford Motor Company is releasing a new gas guzzling sports car for 2009.
With sleek designs and a whopping 556 hp motor, the new Turditron 3000 is going to replace the Shelby Mustang as the new Kitt for future Knightrider shows.
Shaped with the aerodynamic design of a large fresh steaming pile of dung, the car will actually sport no doors. The warm squeeshie handle will be located at the top of the dome shaped crapper.
"We expect sales to go down the hole and then lodge in the pipes. Followed by the massive messy overflow of revenue." states one Ford Representative.
What is left to ponder is whether or not this car can live up to Fords great expectations. Many of the favorable features are removed for more questionable choices. The radio is to be replaced with a copy of Larry the Cable Guys skit on the Cadillac of Pooper Stools, racing seats with portable johns, and the Onstar killer Onthrone. When asked about color schemes one member of the design team hinted that later on green and a faux liquid brown color might be available but for right now, "You can have it in any color you want as long as it is UPS Brown."
What a shitty day for car enthusiast.