Written by Charlie D. Nowhere
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Thursday, 13 March 2008

image for Apple Introduces Latest in I Technology
Jobs wore a beautiful sweatter, knitted by his mom

Apple Inc. CEO Steve Jobs announced today the latest additions to Apple's line of industry-leading entertainment technology.

"It's more than an addition actually. It helps create what we at Apple like to call 'a more integrated life,'" said Jobs at a press conference.

"Ladies and Gentlemen I'd like to introduce you to iLife," continued Jobs as he unveiled what seemed to be a glowing ball, about the size of a bowling ball, which immediately emanated a general sense of happiness and well-being over the crowd.

The new iLife is expected to encompass all of Apple's already existing iTechnology like the iPhone and the iPod, but add to them new technology like iCar, iHouse and iPet.

Jobs assured the crowd this is just the beginning.

"We are currently working on, and plan to introduce within the next year, iMom or iDad, to help all those single parents out there, or to replace existing yet sub-standard ones, " said Jobs as the crowd responded with comatose-like moans of approval as they stared at the glowing ball.

"And within the next five years we will introduce iGod and iEternal Happiness," Jobs continued.

"Now come my family so that you may bask in the glow of iLife," said Jobs as he donned a flowing white robe that seemed to be bathed in a celestial glow.

"I love Apple. Apple is the answer," said Rudolf Archibald, an attendee of the press conference.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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