Written by Tiki Murphy
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Topics: The Spoof, Poo

Monday, 3 March 2008

image for Youngest Rockefeller Raises Purebred Poo
In memory of the Crap King, Frank Rockefeller.

It has been recently discovered that Frank Rockefeller, after dissing Standard Oil, decided to raise purebred cattle for purebred poo. It seems that the youngest Rockefeller believed that the money wasn't in oil at that time. That it was in state of the art turd distribuition. He spent years perfecting fertilizer, only using the freshest, most moist, and brownest turds that his cattle produced.

"He had some of finest s**t out there," crap expert Duncan Whitehead says. "It was the best. I believe that is truly how the Rockefellers made their money. That oil thing, couldn't compare to the quality turd that Frank's cattle crapped out."

"The Rockefeller's were known for only three things really, four if you count the money, but they are: 1. Oil, the Standard Oil Co., 2. Realestate, Rockefeller Center, 3. Pimping, the Rockettes. Now we can add feces distribution to that long and distinguished list," states historical fact finder Dr. Maxwell.

It also appears that the majority of the Rockefeller money came from Franks endeavors. Even though he was ridiculed and dismissed by his family, he stuck to his dream.

An old journal was found for young Frank, with this quote written on the front cover, "They may think that I won't be able to pull this off. Who knows, they may be right. But I have nose for this kind of thing, and this smells like success. I would like to remind them one day, when my piles of s**t make me piles of money, that if they had not been so full of it... well I never would have thought of it."

So, the next time anyone starts talking s**t, take a moment of silence for ol' Frank.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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