Written by Ross Douglas
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Sunday, 25 April 2004

image for Product recall announcement.
Pushed to self destruct.

General motors today released a Recall on all vehicles made in the USA as a fault has been found in the engine management chipset.

A spokesperson from GM's legal advisors (Grabbem, Suem & Fukem Ltd) today made the following statement "A General recall has been put into operation today with every vehicle made by GM in the past ten years. A problem has arisen that the company has been made aware of by a member of the Iraqi coalition and we pledge to have this remedied at the expense of the American taxpayer."

When asked what specifically was found to be wrong with the vehicles the spokesperson said "The fault is said to be that the microprocessor unit has a tendency to attract missile guidance systems."

The entire GM fleet has been running a version of IBM's software since the two companies struck a billion-dollar deal ten years ago.

A computer analyst who works for the Computer Company has said "off the record" that the only thing he can make of it is a "kind of electronic suicide. The chipset seems to do everything in it's power to self destruct by sending a signal to any passing missile fired within 30 miles of its current position."
IBM rebuked claims that the chipsets were just tired of being forced to carry bloated and sweating Americans in jogging suits or army uniforms.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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