Written by Unconfirmed Source

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Topics: Congress, Report

Sunday, 25 April 2004

image for Congressmen To Start Investment Company!
Show Me The Money!

Unconfirmed Sources report members of congress to start investment company. A recent study points out congressmen gain an average return on their invests seven times greater than those of the average investor. The new venture is to be called "Beltway Insider, Trading Advisors." The group plans to publish a newsletter called "Insider Trading" that will be available in news stands and investment offices nationwide.The congressmen must be doing something right to get an average return of around 12% over the market on their investments.

In a rare display of bipartisanship members from both parties are joining to launch the venture. It is rumored that members of the administration and judicial branch are also participating.

When asked how they do it one congressmen responded. "We are smart people. We make smart decisions. It shouldn't be any wonder that we can pick great stock values better than anybody else."

Even Wall Street veterans are perplexed as to how the senators and representatives do it."Its crazy."said one Wall Streeter. "Its like they see and know things about companies that other people just can't pick up on. These guys buy a stock and suddenly up it goes and then they sell a good stock and it takes a dive. They seem to have a penetrating vision of the market that defies explanation."

When a member of the senate ethics was told of the venture he replied. "Yea...where do I sign up?"

The congressmen are also considering starting an investment mutual fund or even an index to allow others to gain from their insights.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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