WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - It can now be revealed that a plate of Boston Baked Beans caused the recent plunge of global stock markets, when President Bush passed gas at an inopportune time while entertaining the foreign ministers of Saudi Arabia and Japan.
"It was an accident, pure and simple," stated a plaintive George Bush in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire. "I should never have eaten those beans."
The inopportune fart caused the representatives of Saudi Arabia and Japan to flee the White House just as Bush was pleading for more money from both nations and for more oil from Saudi Arabia.
The countries promptly withdrew huge sums from the NYSE which caused it to plunge over successive days which cascaded into other markets, with the US economic stimuli doing little to counteract the effects of the noxious fart.
The US dollar also resumed falling as Saudi Arabia and Japan cashed in their T-bills and converted their money into Euros, Swiss franks, gold and silver.
Meanwhile, US bond insurers continued to head towards bankruptcy as financing from the Middle East and Japan dried up, and the trillions of financial derivatives continued to devalue and head towards apocalypse.
Residential and commercial real estate also resumed their cataclysmic plunge, and inflation worsened to hyperinflationary levels in the USA as the US government printed more and more dollars to supply the dried up foreign financing for US profligate multi-trillion dollar debt accumulation.
"It is Beano for me from now on," added a contrite Bush. "Never again!"
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire